#4 Guilty Beyond a Reasonable Mrs. Doubtfire
Warm Up Riddles
What has a face, and two hands, but no arms or legs?
What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
What word begins and ends with an ‘e,’ but only has one letter?
Three men were in a boat; it capsized, but only two got their hair wet. Why?
One was bald.
What is so delicate that saying its name breaks it?
Silence. (NOT “hymen”)
A man is found murdered on a Sunday morning. His wife calls the police, who question the wife and the staff, and are given the following alibis: (1) The wife says she was sleeping. (2) The butler was cleaning the closet. (3) The gardener was picking vegetables. (4) The maid was getting the mail. (5) The cook was preparing breakfast. Immediately, the police arrest the murderer. Who did it, and how did the police know?
The mail doesn’t come on Sundays, so the maid is guilty.
A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires. The second is full of assassins with loaded guns (and bad attitudes). The third is full of lions who haven’t eaten in years.
The lions would be dead.
A man murders his wife with a knife in their car. Nobody is around to see this, and he throws her out of the car (being careful not to leave any fingerprints on her body). Next, he throws the knife off of a cliff into a gorge where it will never be found, and he goes home. An hour later the police call him and tell him that his wife has been murdered, and he needs to come to the scene of the crime immediately. As soon as he arrives, he is arrested. How did they know?
Because the man knew where the crime had been committed.
A girl was attending her mother’s funeral, where she met a man. She was very intrigued by the man and she was interested in getting to know him. As she was making her rounds, she realized she had not gotten the man’s name or number. Later, when she went to find him, he had already left. A week later, she murdered her older brother to find the man. Why?
She was hoping the man would show up again, at her brother’s funeral this time.
Two girls ate dinner together. They both ordered iced tea. One girl drank the tea very fast and finished five in the time it took the other girl to drink one. All of the drinks were poisoned, but the girl who drank one glass died while the girl who drank five survived. Why?
The poison was in the ice. (NOT “she peed out the poison,” which was our first “dead stop!”)
A woman shoots her husband, then holds him underwater for five minutes. A little while later, they both go out and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
She shot her husband with a camera and then developed the photo, thus holding “him” (his photo) underwater for five minutes.
Listener Submitted Riddles
What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?
A towel. Umbrella could also work.
[from Tommy Maranges]
Until I’m measured, I’m not known, but you always notice when I have flown.
[from Tommy Maranges]