Riddles

A man locked his son out of the house. The son thanked him. Explain.

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The son, in his late teens, was spoiled and idle. The father correctly inferred that evicting him and forcing him to earn his own way would benefit him, however unpleasant it would be at first. When the son found a job and had worked at it for a while, he understood how his father’s actions had made his life more respectable and constructive, therefore he thanked his father.

A man called the woman he loved, and she cursed at him and hung up angrily. Why was he happy?

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She was married to another man, and he suggested that she pretend that he was an obnoxious telephone solicitor if he called while her husband might overhear. His ruse apparently worked, and he was pleased.

“Hey Pop, can I have some money?” asked Dana. “The Electric Ear Splitters are giving a concert here in town next week, and I really want to hear it.” His father put down the television listings, turned off the TV, and firmly declined. “But that’s my favorite group!” protested Dana. “I want to buy tickets real fast so I can hear them perform as soon as possible.” “If that’s what’s most important to you,” replied the father, “then you won’t need any tickets”. Explain.

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The father had noticed the planned live concert and noticed that it was also to be on television. Microphones would be a few feet from the performers and would capture the sound for television transmission. The audience potentially, including Dana, would be farther from the performers than their microphones would be. Sound travels at about 800 feet per second. Television waves and the electric currents that create and respond to them travel over a million times faster than sound. The father correctly figured that the television audience would hear the performers sooner than the live audience, for there would be less delay while sound waves travel a short distance on microphones and from TV speakers to viewers than while sound waves travel the full distance from performers to the live audience. The difference is only a fraction of a second, but the father was a sociopath.

Why did the ice cream truck break down?

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Cause it had a bad day.

A plane crashes directly on the border of the US and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors?

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Nowhere. You don’t bury survivers.

There are seven birds in a tree. A hunter shoots one bird down. How many birds are left in the tree?

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None, because the rest of them got scared and flew away.

Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on earth?

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Still Mt. Everest, because it doesn’t matter; nothing matters.